Marriage Can Work
After being married for fifty-four years, people often ask me what our secret is for a marriage that has longevity such as ours. It causes me to ponder on that question. My response off the top of my head would be communication, commitment, and caring about the other person’s feelings. For sure, we have had our share of ups and downs as most couples do; however, the option of divorce was never on the table. I always found that giving the treasures of my heart to my husband made the hurdle that we experience to be minor compared to the benefits of forgiveness and loving one another.
I love our children that God blessed us with beyond words. But early in our marriage I realized that children grow up and we only have a limited amount of time to prepare them for the world outside our home. With God’s help, we have to put life skills in them that would prepare them for a world that has many social and racial injustices. And, at the same time, teach them that life is not all bad and that it holds many joys, blessings, and success stories. But it was not enough to talk to them about and teach them guiding principles. We had to display our message in our everyday actions.
There was never a time that we said, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say!” Just like in our marriage, the value that we shared with each other from our hearts were also passed down to our children. In my family village growing up there were no successful marriages. So, I was determined that our marriage would break the cycle of abusive words and physical violence. Understand, it takes lots of prayer, guidance, and determination to break the destructive cycle of becoming a static of broken relationships and fatherless families that others could see. Out of the treasure of our hearts, we put it all on the table so our family, our community of friends, and the church could see a genuine married couple that was in it for the long haul.
Loving God, loving each other, and loving people is the example Christ has called us to. Christians who not only talk the talk, but also walk it out as a true testimony so that our lives would Glorify God and be blameless before others. Good treasures will never flow from a heart that is focused on itself and how others can benefit them. No matter where you and your spouse are spiritually, the Bible should be your marriage’s foundation, your go-to when the going gets tough.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” 1 Cor. 13:4-8 (NIV)
I love our children that God blessed us with beyond words. But early in our marriage I realized that children grow up and we only have a limited amount of time to prepare them for the world outside our home. With God’s help, we have to put life skills in them that would prepare them for a world that has many social and racial injustices. And, at the same time, teach them that life is not all bad and that it holds many joys, blessings, and success stories. But it was not enough to talk to them about and teach them guiding principles. We had to display our message in our everyday actions.
There was never a time that we said, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say!” Just like in our marriage, the value that we shared with each other from our hearts were also passed down to our children. In my family village growing up there were no successful marriages. So, I was determined that our marriage would break the cycle of abusive words and physical violence. Understand, it takes lots of prayer, guidance, and determination to break the destructive cycle of becoming a static of broken relationships and fatherless families that others could see. Out of the treasure of our hearts, we put it all on the table so our family, our community of friends, and the church could see a genuine married couple that was in it for the long haul.
Loving God, loving each other, and loving people is the example Christ has called us to. Christians who not only talk the talk, but also walk it out as a true testimony so that our lives would Glorify God and be blameless before others. Good treasures will never flow from a heart that is focused on itself and how others can benefit them. No matter where you and your spouse are spiritually, the Bible should be your marriage’s foundation, your go-to when the going gets tough.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” 1 Cor. 13:4-8 (NIV)